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再也不会和大表妹走散
【不好意思我接个电话先】
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零
断句是门技术活
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壹
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推特上面有位饲养员给自家仓鼠准备了辆车车过马路
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贰
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克里斯·海,一位非常会找准自己位置的直男
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叁
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贴纸买好了,就差gtr
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肆
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那你能告诉我第五题的答案吗 ?能
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伍
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我就相信前面四个字
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强行搞笑,最为致命!
01
老婆给我讲一个笑话, 讲了两句之后我发现我听过, 但我表现出很有兴趣的样子在听, 一直听到她要说关键的最后一句话的时候, 我突然抢先说出了最后一句话, 然后哈哈大笑。后来我给她买了个五万的包才算完。
02
同事的家属得了重病,单位组织募捐,可匿名可实名,大家都匿名捐款,我也匿名捐了500。可是…哪个天杀的用我的名字捐了1块钱!
03
一对情侣在街上闹,女的问:“你们男人为什么就不懂女人嘛?”男的答:“真正懂女人的男人会喜欢女人吗?!”
04
对与异性发生性关系后的给钱时间做出了界定标准:完事后就给的为嫖娼,一周后给的是性伙伴,按月给的为情人,按季度定量给的是包养,全年度都给的为二奶,终生不懈给的是老婆,从来不给的是红颜知己。务必把握好给钱时间,否则性质不同。。。
05
自从和女朋友在一起之后,每天都折几只纸鹤送给她,我都不记得有多少了,记不起了。。。突然今天她发信息给我,你送给我的纸鹤今天卖给收废品的了!还没来得及伤心,又发来一条,刚好9块,咱去民政局吧!
06
不明白了电视里,古代那些大侠一出去,就是两斤酱牛肉一壶好酒,每天最少三顿... 放眼前,二斤酱牛肉一百多块钱,一壶酒就算十块钱,一月一万多。还经常阔绰的周济贫苦百姓,我真想问他们都是做什么工作的?
点“在看”,支持表妹!